Friday, April 3, 2015

Will I ever learn?

This is a morality tale of the dangers of :
1- being too focused
2- not thinking ahead
3- having too much stuff

Almost had to call 911 today.
Now that taxes are finally done, it was time to get to work on the demo van (below photo)  which we recently acquired after I was inspired by the picture above.

I needed some plywood. Being a keeper of a lot of building materials I realized I had some stored in this nice shed I built.
Unfortunately, the plywood was on the left side between the door and the window, that you can see me looking out of , in the picture above. I normally access the shed through the single door on the right.
The door you see me looking out of in this picture.
The shed is FULL of stuff. Too much stuff, and not very well organized. To get the plywood out the small door would mean hours of unloading and a storm was rapidly approaching, although it was sunny and frosty when I started out.
This shed can be used as a garage. The left 2 doors fold open by pulling on the left handle and slide open on a track the top right of the middle door is attached to. So, when fully open, the left 2 doors fold outward and to the left. I have not used these doors since the shed was built. I could probably get the plywood out easily if I just opened the entire front. There are locking slide bolts at the top and bottom on the inside.
I pulled down the top bolt , no problem. I could barely reach the bottom one by reaching along the door but it was stuck. The massive amount of stuff prevented me from getting a good angle on it. I am a persistent and resourceful fellow and I realized that if I could grab it with some pliers from above that it should open. I went in the house and grabbed some pliers and a flashlight (it had quickly clouded up outside and was now dark in the shed).
I went back out to the shed, ready to prevail! Wormed my way through the pile of stuff until I could just barely get the pliers on the bolt from above. I was sandwiched in this massive pile of stuff with my goal in sight. Success! Disaster!
The doors folded open and now provided ZERO support for the pile of stuff leaning against it, of which I was part. I fell headfirst into the space created between the folding out doors and onto the lower ground outside which was about half a foot lower than inside. Trapped!
I mean seriously trapped. I was doing a headstand on the ground with a large amount of stuff pressing against and on top of me. There was not enough room to go under the doors to get out. The further the doors opened, the more they folded together. Yikes! And my roommates/house sitters were both gone at the same time (which is rare).
Now the storm shows up in it's full fury. It's pouring and I'm now fully exposed from above. I could try yelling for help but can barely breathe and I think my closest neighbors may actually be gone as well. I do have my cell phone and can reach it. Who to call? Hypothermia/ arrhythmia is a rapidly approaching threat. 911? I can see the headline now "Local Man Trapped by TOO MUCH STUFF!"
While I'm thinking about this (only seconds have actually passed, or have they?) my muscles give out and I can no longer maintain the head/hand stand. I slide down (lubricated by the rain) into the hole and am now a ball. A very uncomfortable ball. Who soon realizes that the ball can rotate somewhat. OW,OW,OW! Hey, my butt is on the ground! OW,OW,OW, now on my knees. Easier now, I work my way to my feet and then climb up, over, and through all the stuff to safety.
The lessons learned will perhaps stick in my brain better if I write it down. Hey, another blog post.
Thank you for listening. Have a better day than me!

P.S. Giving up on that plywood for now, going to go buy more!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Introducing the FoaB!

Greetings and welcome to April!
I hope you read my last post.

I've been getting inquiries about the secret Mass Force project for "anything at all", "even some teasing", "throw us a bone"!

OK, I cave a little bit...

It's a new board called "FoaB" that I built myself with "help" from 5 of the world's top shaper/ designers. FoaB stands for "Frankenstein of all Boards".

No, this is not it. The board I built will break cameras, combust film, cause women to shriek, children cry, and expert windsurfers gag and/or outright vomit. It is meant to be ridden, not looked at. It is purely about function and what can be done with it. It also goes against just about everything the modern board designer now embraces. It has the added bonus of being a shameful attention getter,

If it even works. So it will be in the MoaBmobile aka Great White on her maiden road trip with a top secret itinerary. Here's hoping...   Peter Schulz

P.S. Accuracy disclaimer: Given the date, I could not resist some embellishment on a few things in this post. The FoaB is real. It yearns to get wet!